


A Bother

by GreenElf322



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Bokuaka - Freeform, Get together fic, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Suicide Attempt, cute ending tho, really it's hurt then comfort, they're so in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-25
Updated: 2016-11-25
Packaged: 2018-09-02 05:01:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8652031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreenElf322/pseuds/GreenElf322
Summary: My file name for this was "angsty bokuaka," if that gives you any indication as to what this fic is about. This is the story of how Bokuto and Akaashi start dating, even if it took tragedy to get it to happen. This does include self harm/suicide, so if that triggers you, don't read.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [surveycorpsjean](https://archiveofourown.org/users/surveycorpsjean/gifts).



> I've never been suicidal or attempted it, so this was my best attempt at writing it. This was mildly inspired by "Follow Rivers" by surveycorpsjean, who I have gifted this to. Thanks for reading and any comments/Kudos are massively appreciated!

When Akaashi heard the news, he dropped his phone in shock. It clanged to the floor, the noise reverberating across his quiet house for what seemed like an eternity. Akaashi’s mouth was frozen, open in a face of the worst surprise. His fingers did not move to catch the phone or even to pick it up. His hands didn’t feel like a part of his body; his fingers just hung there limply, failing to grasp the phone the same way his brain failed to grasp the concept. He could not believe it to be true. It couldn’t be. Bokuto-san would not have done that. Bokuto-san would not have tried to kill himself. It just couldn’t be true.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

While his team knew and even joked about his (in)famous emo moods, they never realized just how serious they were for Bokuto. Bokuto had three things in his life that made him happy: his family, volleyball and Akaashi Keiji. With such a large family, Bokuto sometimes could not get all the attention and happiness he wanted from them, but that was okay. He understood. Akaashi was Bokuto’s best friend, but Bokuto wanted to be more than that eventually. He thought it was possible, but wanted to take it slowly just to make sure Akaashi was okay with every step. Then one fateful day, it seemed he’d lost both volleyball and Akaashi. 

It was one of those days when EVERYTHING seems to go wrong. Bokuto had woken up late, tripped and fell on his rush out the door and his morning practice didn’t break the bad luck momentum. No matter how perfect Akaashi’s tosses were, Bokuto seemed to mess up. He flat out missed some of them, the ball falling slowly to the ground, the sound of it hitting the gym floor resounding across the gym. The other players stared the first few times it happened, but by Bokuto’s fifth missed hit, the surprise began to wear off. Even when he managed to hit, it barely went over the net, was easily blocked, or went out of bounds. Coach ended the practice early and Bokuto shot out of the gym, trying to keep the tears from spilling over his eyelids. A soft call from Akaashi reached his ears, but Bokuto couldn’t face him as such a failure. 

It was easy to escape from Akaashi during school hours, but not as easy to escape the three failed quizzes that were returned that day. After a brief respite between classes and afternoon practice, Bokuto was ready to move on from earlier mistakes and dominate practice, but that’s when his eyes caught sight of something that made his stomach drop and chest tighten up: Akaashi with a girl. Their faces were close together, looking like the girl had just whispered to Akaashi, making him smile and blush. Bokuto’s face fell, along with his heart. He’d been so sure Akaashi was gay, something he had wanted to make sure was true before he asked him out or tried pursuing him. Hardening his heart and narrowing his eyes, Bokuto marched past them toward the gym, outright ignoring Akaashi when he called to Bokuto to wait up. 

Afternoon practice went worse than the morning, if that was even possible. Bokuto didn’t want to look at Akaashi so all of his jumps and spikes were off. By the time the team was given a water break, Akaashi was getting fed up. 

“Bokuto-san! What’s wrong with you? Are my tosses so inadequate you won’t bother to even look at me?” Akaashi spat, voice full of both concern and irritation. With a water bottle in his hand gripped far too tightly, Bokuto slowly turned, answering Akaashi with a tone that frightened Akaashi due to the lack of inflection, “I am trying my best Akaashi. We can not all be as perfectly robotic as you.”

Akaashi was too surprised to say anything else and let the matter drop until after practice concluded. Hurrying through his duties after practice, Akaashi barely managed to catch Bokuto before he escaped through the side door of the gym. “Bokuto-san! What is your problem today?” No longer able to control himself, Bokuto blurted out, “Maybe I don’t have a problem Akaashi. Maybe this is just the way I am. Maybe the problem is you. Maybe the problem is that my players were late to practice because they were too busy chatting up their girlfriends in the hall!” Bokuto snarled at his younger teammate, who recoiled more out of surprise than fear. The surprise and fear were repressed in favor of anger, who shouted, “What the hell are you on about? The only people late today were you and me, and last time I checked, neither of us were ‘chatting up our girlfriends’ today!” Akaashi mocked Bokuto. 

“I saw the way that girl was all over you and you returning the favor! If you’d rather be with her than on the volleyball team, just quit now!” Bokuto said this with his heart breaking. What he had really meant was if Akaashi would rather be with the girl than Bokuto, he should say so. “Machi? My girlfriend? Boy, do you have the wrong idea-” Akaashi began before Bokuto cut him off with, “You know any girl at this school would be fucking thrilled to be with you, so don’t give me that shit!” before angrily sauntering away, not allowing Akaashi a chance to follow or explain. 

Bewildered, Akaashi wandered home, thinking back to everything that had happened with Bokuto that day, searching his mind for where it all went wrong and how he should go about handling it. Akaashi figured he should allow time for Bokuto to calm down, so he would text him after dinner. Unfortunately, Akaashi fell asleep after doing homework, too mentally exhausted to stay awake.

Meanwhile, Bokuto had headed home, thoughts in his head mirroring the swirling tears in his eyes. Akaashi would not, could not, ever love him. Even if he was into boys, Bokuto had screamed at him and who would put up with him after seeing that side of him? Bokuto could not play volleyball in college or professionally if he couldn’t handle being in love with his setter. Or if he couldn’t manage to hit the damn ball. Normally, when Bokuto was this upset, only his family, Akaashi, or volleyball could calm him down. Volleyball and Akaashi were out of the question at this point, so Bokuto prayed his family, especially his older sister Keiki, was home. He was shaking, overcome with emotions, by the time he stumbled into his house. He called for someone, anyone, to come but no one was home. A note on the counter explained the family had gone out for dinner, but the littles ones were too hungry to wait on their brother, so they went on without him. The note slipped from Bokuto’s hands, but he didn’t notice. He was a bother to even those who were supposed to love him unconditionally. He was a bother to Akaashi. A bother to his team, since he couldn’t manage to score. A bother to the girls who wanted Akaashi, whom Bokuto possessively kept to himself. A bother to his teachers who consistently tried to help him and whom he consistently disappointed with his failures. A bother to his kouhai, because he couldn’t help them improve with anything. A bother to the coaches who wrongly counted on him. A bother to everyone who came into contact with his failure of a self. If he wasn’t around, everyone would be less bothered and have a better life. Bokuto lived to make others happy and he would die if that’s what it took to make others happy. Bokuto made his decision. He would die tonight, ending the burden he had created for his loved ones.

Bokuto went about the preparations methodically, writing a note to each and everyone of his family members, as well as Akaashi. He did not cry. He did not laugh. He just wrote. He placed the letters in an envelope and put them on the counter. He went to the bathroom and grabbed his razor. He didn’t want to inconvenience his mother with clean up, so he decided it would be best to do it in the bathtub. He climbed in, took a deep breath, and cut into his wrists. Before long, the blood loss overtook him and Bokuto passed into a calm state, unaware of anything happening. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Both Akaashi and Bokuto were unaware of the flurry of activity that happened when the Bokuto family returned. Bokuto’s father came in the bathroom, only to drop the bag of takeout for his son when he saw the state of said boy. Cries echoed throughout the house, giving it a spooky feel. An ambulance arrived, which whisked the eldest son away, the rest of the family hurriedly following them to the hospital. The family waited for news on their boy in silence, until one of the younger ones mentioned calling Akaashi to their mother, who obliged.

After Akaashi got the phone call, he took a few minutes to collect himself and his things before he raced as fast as he could to the hospital where Bokuto-san was being treated. By the time he reached the hospital, the family had left the waiting room, and sat with Bokuto who had yet to wake up. An inquiry at the front desk told Akaashi and he ran to the room with his best friend in it. However, before he was able to enter, an arm slammed against his chest. Bokuto Keiki, the oldest Bokuto sibling, blocked Akaashi from getting in. She harshly shoved him back, forcing him into the middle of the hallway. 

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing here, slime?” Keiki snarled with a ferocity Akaashi had never seen in a Bokuto. Stutters were all Akaashi could manage before Keiki continued, “The only thing he mentioned in his haze was your name! What did you do to him? How dare you come here! This is your fault!” The shoves kept coming as the girl cornered Akaashi against the wall. Tears were threatening to spill as Akaashi tried to make a coherent response to the girl’s accusations. A firm shout of “Keiki!” from her mother finally made the girl back off, and Bokuto’s mom beckoned Akaashi to come in. Akaasi collapsed next to Bokuto’s bed, reaching for the cold pale hand of his friend. This still calm creature did not look like Bokuto. Could not be Bokuto. But it was. 

Hours passed, most of the family going home, Bokuto’s mother and Keiki being the only ones who stayed all night like Akaashi. When Akaashi finally felt a light squeeze of Bokuto’s hand, he could not contain his relief and joy as he shot up, yelling Bokuto’s name. Bokuto’s mother, sister, and Akaashi all fussed for a few minutes before a knowing glint came into his mother’s eyes. She pulled on Keiki as they went to go alert the doctors of Bokuto’s awakening. 

Akaashi squeezed Bokuto’s hand tighter and smiled at Bokuto. “Bokuto-san, I’m so glad you’re okay,” Akaashi’s voice wavered and cracked. Bokuto almost looked embarrassed as he looked back at Akaashi, “I thought you’d be relieved to know you wouldn’t have me pestering you anymore.” The pain and sadness became pronounced on Akaashi’s face at that, “Bokuto-san… Koutarou. I love you. I-I’m in love with you. I never want you to leave or to hurt,” Akaashi nervously said. Bokuto’s mouth fell open, almost in a perfect ‘o’ of shock. 

“Well, uh, of course I love you too, I’m kinda well almost completely positive you’re the love of my life Keiji, but what about that Machi girl? The two of you certainly looked happy talking to each other,” Bokuto stammered back. With a soft sigh and smile, Akaashi explained, “You idiot. I was trying to get your birthday present from her. She makes mix tapes and I thought it would be nice if I confessed to you using love songs, since I’m too shy to say it.” Bokuto’s face was so happy, despite the mild shock still hiding in his features.

“Well, Akaashi Keiji, since we both seem to have some issues with expressing or understanding the others’ feelings, I’m going to make mine clear now. I am in love with you and I want you to be my boyfriend,” Bokuto calmly exclaimed. After his mini speech, he reached for Akaashi’s face and pulled it closer, bringing his lips to the younger’s, pouring as much feeling into their first kiss as possible.

By the time the doctors returned with Bokuto’s family, Akaashi was curled into Bokuto’s side, with Bokuto pressing gentle kisses to his boyfriend’s hair.


End file.
